October 01, 2009

When you’re Gone

She was cremated today morning and tomorrow she’ll be off to the open sea to a better place.

Kinda lost it during prayers this morning.

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Saw her one last time and I tried holding back. Didn’t wanna cry there. Then when my uncle was about to start on the speech thingy I ran out. Just couldn’t hold back anymore. Couldn’t take any more memories of her without crying.

I walked to the other side of the crematorium, finding it difficult to breathe, sat on a bench and cried my eyes out.

When I thought I got control on my emotions I went back for more prayers and the moment they start moving the coffin or “treasure box” as my niece called it, I couldn’t bare to watch.

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And yes I cried again.

It was madness.

I tried so hard to hold back my tears it hurts.

But later on, I just have a feeling that everything’s gonna be alright.

As if someone just came and told me that.

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And for some reason, a song is playing in my head.

Elton John’s Candle in the wind.

Though she may not be England’s Rose, but she is OUR Rose.

Loveliness we've lost
These empty days without your smile
This torch we'll always carry
For our family's golden child
And even though we try
The truth brings us to tears
All our words cannot express
The joy you brought us through the years

 

 

Sending you my prayers,

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P.S. : Design gonna be screwed.

4 comments:

KimberlyMay said...

Hey, it's all right to cry at times like this. There is no point of holding back your tears. You may feel upset and sad about your aunt's passing but you know what, all these things will soon fade away. Everything will definitely be all right. Next thing you know, you will be moving on with your life along with the wonderful memories you had with your aunt :)

stephy-nie said...

Thanks kim. You're right. Everythings gonna be fine and I'll live my life happily for her. Thanks again.

Kennee said...

My sincere condolences to you and your family...

stephy-nie said...

thanks kennee :)

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