It’s funny how I’ve lost and forgotten the way to express myself. I’ve forgotten how to pour out the things I feel into this very lovely blog of mine that now it contains very much ALL but little of what I am and how I feel about things.
I re-read my old posts that day and I see how easy it was for me to pop something up and just blah it all out in this sanctuary I call my own where I scream and rant without caring what ifs.
What if my friends read it?
What if my family read it?
What if people read it and judge me?
What if people read and spread it?
What if people read and manipulate my thoughts and emotions?
What if the thoughts that I want that person to know, didn’t reached out to the right one?
I have no blardy idea why I was being so guarded lately that I rarely update personal posts which contains what I think personally deep down inside.
I saw somewhere on twitter which said : “ Diaries used to be the most valuable secretive thing to one’s life, but now, Diaries in the form of blogs are so publicly displayed without hesitation or secretiveness” something like that lah. And it’s SO true. Cause I used to went with the diary trend thingy
yes I kept diaries and I would kill burn murder swallow protect my diary like my life depends on it cause my deepest darkest THOUGHTS are in it. NO not much of a secret but the most PERSONAL THOUGHTS are there for me to protect. Thoughts that I wanna keep only to myself and I penned it down mostly cause I have a feeling that my memory would fail me in the future that I think I should REALLY pen these down so that I could turn back some day, read it and smile / laugh about it by myself of course .
I know this is abit different from my usual Photo-filled post that I have been taken a habit to be posting these months. Don’t worry I still have photos here and there *winks* it won’t be filled with but it will still have. hahaha I just can’t help it I love posting photos on my blog. It brings the life in it!
Sometimes I feel like doing this :
Sometimes I feel like. …
Sometimes I wanna be an emo CHICK:
And sometimes A ROCK CHICK! :
There you go my photos just attacked me!
So where was I?
Oh ya the emo-ing part.
So yeah.. umm..
It’s on the 1st of May in Times Square with sponsored props weyh! It’s another freeze like the VFM so again from experience practice people! It’s difficult to freeze at certain poses for 5 DARN MINUTES!
I dunno if I’m gonna be back with “normal” blogging ways or not but I dunno i think I’m so far fine with the idea of photo expression and expressing feelings thru friendly talks on the phone and MSN.
Oh yah I finally watched Valentine’s Day!!!!!
Thanks to Jeffro for collecting the ticket and being the osm play-mate!
Oh shit that sounds wrong.
But then again had an Awesome “date” witcha!
The sun? in Spaghetti Farm! Awesome food.
And he took many many nice photos of mua! *happy* nyahahahah
Now going on in my life:
Imma P driver nao!!!!
-Imma searching for a part time job.
-imma waiting for the scholarships and their results
-Imma looking for a full time Engineering Job
-Imma trying to NOT go out
at all much lately
-Imma going for a birthday party tomorrow and in that party ada minum minum only!
-imma hafta crack my head on what to wear tomorrow.