When you’re Gone

She was cremated today morning and tomorrow she’ll be off to the open sea to a better place.

Kinda lost it during prayers this morning.

 

Saw her one last time and I tried holding back. Didn’t wanna cry there. Then when my uncle was about to start on the speech thingy I ran out. Just couldn’t hold back anymore. Couldn’t take any more memories of her without crying.

I walked to the other side of the crematorium, finding it difficult to breathe, sat on a bench and cried my eyes out.

When I thought I got control on my emotions I went back for more prayers and the moment they start moving the coffin or “treasure box” as my niece called it, I couldn’t bare to watch.

And yes I cried again.

It was madness.

I tried so hard to hold back my tears it hurts.

But later on, I just have a feeling that everything’s gonna be alright.

As if someone just came and told me that.

And for some reason, a song is playing in my head.

Elton John’s Candle in the wind.

Though she may not be England’s Rose, but she is OUR Rose.

Loveliness we've lost
These empty days without your smile
This torch we'll always carry
For our family's golden child
And even though we try
The truth brings us to tears
All our words cannot express
The joy you brought us through the years

 

 

Sending you my prayers,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. : Design gonna be screwed.

Goodbye Dear Ah Yi Kai Ma

I came back from Chill-IT camp last Sunday with great memories and a “HOLE” on my knee thinking that my holiday ended so awesomicly but then only to get a call from my uncle saying that my aunt’s condition worsened.

Later that night, she left us.

I usually don’t cry during funerals and at deaths of relatives cause when I see the deceased, i don’t feel them dead. like they’re just sleeping there and they’re going away somewhere for some time.

But that night I couldn’t hold back.

Cause I saw a mother sending her daughter off. Telling us how her daughter have not enjoyed her life enough yet.

Sons red eyed.

God daughter who shivered, crying her eyes off.

Sisters crying uncontrollably.

Nephews and nieces dropping tears.

and kakak, who has became part of our family, losing it after holding back her tears for so long.

Touching her cold face for one last time..

It was almost unbelievable that someone could turn so cold.

She passed away after some time fighting brain cancer.

She passed away as a fighter.

May she rest in peace in wherever she is.

Our prayers are all we can give her now.

Be it Namo Amitabha or whatever else. We put our hands together and pray the same prayers for her.

Honestly when they were chanting mantras for her, I felt like I was updating my prayer status with God. telling Him to take good care of her, and all.

I almost laughed out during the prayers LOL

Hopefully my prayer Twitter works and she be in a better place now.

Even kak Siti copied mantras in chinese for her!

Imagine if my aunt will get those papers like letters up there. She’d probably be laughing seeing her name on that sheet of paper. LOL

That’ll be it.

Wait for my next post.

Stephy-IMissYou-nie

 

Another Loss. Holidays. Food. Game.

Today:

I was still in bed half awake when i heard the TV outside with the news on saying that Yasmin Ahmad had passed away!

I ran out and went WHAT??!

Indeed, she left us and the creative industry after she suffered from a stroke and after the operation she didn’t recover and left us to be with God.

It is such a waste that we lost her as she had created and directed among the most amazing advertisements that could actually make me cry.

She made honest movies that reflected love, forgiveness and harmony of us Malaysians. How can you not love Sepet?!

It’s a real sad year to be losing so many talented people, and we’re only halfway through the year!

May Yasmin rest in peace in the land above us.

Yasmin Ahmad

1958-2009

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Anyway I’m having holidays now.

Moral Exam was fine.

Unit Op kinda sucked

“tired from studying for exams”

But then again, It’s holidays for a month!

WOOTS!

 

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What’s coming up next is:

PROM NIGHT!

Anybody still interested to attend, regardless of where you’re from,

contact me @

einahpetsaiko[at]yahoo[dot]com

or drop me a message on facebook or something.

It’s SO gotta be fun!

I SO need to go get an outfit!

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I’m gonna try very hard to come online and Do a makan makan recommendation!

because I lovey- dovey this stall’s fishy!

and seriously, I rarely like fishes.

 

And I’ve been online after so many days, and all i did was play this game

It’s called Bunni Game. I saw this from someone’s blog and I got hooked already. LOL

but then again, it’s already alil bit boring.

And blame the game for making me NOT update my blog properly today

kekekekekeke

Ans so I shall end this post today with a photo I took earlier on the way to puchong.

 

LOOK who’s taking a peek out behind the clouds~

Stephy-nie

*On her way to the Land close to God’s feet*

but Soon-to-be BROKE